Bridge Over Changing Waters

It's winter-like again here in Colorado. Cold, windy, rain and snow mix. So, from the archives of this fall, I pulled this picture that I shot on the CU campus.

As I reflect back on the last six months since shooting this image, I feel both gratitude for all the experiences this project has brought my way and a longing in my heart for something unknown. As my wise mother shared with me last week, "life is not meant to be lived like it is a dress rehearsal. This is it. Every moment of every day is the real deal."

This truth has been having its way with me every since she spoke these words. I am seeing how I currently live my life like I am rehearsing for something to come. I am absolutely addicted to my comfort zone and while I hear my heart begging me to break free of this, I appease myself with platitudes like "when the time is right....you will finally get to.....blah, blah, blah."

Underneath all that, I then feel anger, resentment, even rage for marginalizing myself. I can see now how that anger sits under the surface of almost everything I touch. Even this project, at times, has felt like I am practicing for my dream role in life and I keep it small to maintain my comfort level.

I am ready for a shift in my reality. I don't know what it's going to take to start showing up more FULLY in life but I will start with putting out a prayer for this shift to begin now along with a willingness for change. I am asking for courage to be here as I sense there may be some bridges burned in this exciting transformation.